guest list, lightly edited for such important style matters as wandering punctuation and case, submitted by a guest micro-manager

1. resume
2. bed info
3. seminary application

the slightly macabre _whatup_ list
1. my nanny died very early monday morning.
2. luckily i had four-wheeled transportation at hand and was delivered to south nassau county hospital within the hour.
3. i observed my freshly-expired yet lovely nanny. the tubes were gone. she was peaceful.
4. i fixed her hair and petted her and told her things, including the l-word, repeatedly.
5. i was told that the soul, or neshama, floats above the body for three days before going to wherever souls go.
6. aside from my nanny's body being kind of hard, her complection was beautiful and she looked very, very tiny.
7. i was asked by my aunt gladys to compose a speech, to be delivered at the funeral service that was to be held the next day, tuesday.
8. i went to nanny's yellow apartment in far rockaway and chose a lovely gown for her burial. while a shroud is the correct garment since it has no pockets and returns to the earth more quickly, both gladys and alice (my mother) thought she would prefer a gown since she was on her way to be reunited with poppy. and so it was.
9. i hunted for appropriate bloomers but found only a simple cotton pair. i felt bad.
10. i found a note on the back of a notepad indicating the order of importance of the family, as seen by nanny. i came first. while we all knew that, it was cool to see it in writing. i awarded the much-sought-after earrings to linda, who received them happily. now, there should be peace.
11. kosher deli sandwiches were eaten.
12. calls to nanny's old friends were made.
13. feelings were felt.
14. coffee was drunk.
15. neighbors visited.
16. funeral was held.
17. speech was made.
18. casket was laid into ground.
19. acts of loving kindness were performed.
20. friends showed up and visited.
21. cold cuts were purchased.
22. yiddish was spoken.
23. nails were bitten.

at the monadnock bible conference camp, children may select two ("2") of the following activities:

1. soccer
2. camp video
3. basketball
4. drama/skits/music
5. boats & canoes
6. arts & crafts
7. wild walk nature
8. swimming lessons
9. basket making
10. bb guns (age 8-12)
11. archery (age 8-12)
12. pinewood derby (age 8-12)
13. model rocketry (ages 10-12)

yet, each child who attends the aforementioned bible-crafts camp WILL participate in the following activities. this is non-negotiable.

1. singing/music
2. bible study
3. swimming
4. games
5. boats & canoes

things i'm kind of excited about
1. learning how to shoot a rifle.
2. putting together a great shooting-a-rifle outfit.
3. assembling snacks and beverages for shooting day.
4. going fishing.
5. putting together a great fishing ensemble.
6. spring.
7. karate class, begins in april.
8. the new seminary, if i can get it together to fill out the god damn application.

things that need to happen
1. finish seminary application.
2. send away for college transcript.
3. go to board of ed, already.
4. clean motherfucking apartment.
5. return god damn dsl modem to verizon, those pig bastards.
6. get floor fixed.
7. pick up dry cleaning from two ("2") different brooklyn locations. one ("1") item may be waiting since last august.
8. comb cats.
9. make list of resentments.
10. forgive all members of above list.
11. decorate prayer & meditation area.
12. purge books & cds

what's new
1. therapist of ten years terminated me over the fone.
2. only owe one ('1") more shift at the co op.
3. ate at jerry's last night and had the cod over a garlic risotto cake with asparagus in a punchy little sauce that was orange.
4. have been making good use of my "don't mess with texas" lunchbox.
5. have been enjoying my starbucks coffee card, ordering single and double espressos each and every time i see a starbucks. today, i put five ('5") dollars on my card.
6. purged my mobile fone's fone directory, removing names of people i hate.
7. having purged names of people i hate from my mobile fone directory, realized most entries are such things as "thai," "japanese," "chinese," or "car service."
8. litter box smells and i am ignoring it. the cleaning girl will be here any moment.
9. am enjoying, tremendously, the absence of over-educated dimwits in my daily life.
10. still don't understand what the big deal about shakespeare is.
11. have decided that friendships should not be so hard.
12. played the FUCK out of the cymbals tonight at satsang.